The HotList

This just in from Facebook: You can now use brand names and icons to let people figure you out.

"Help people know you better by showing logos of the brands you identify with. Compare what you like with your friends....Show people what you are all about. Better than Facebook's info section because this uses logos, and no one reads your profile anyways ;)"

Facebook: Taking sign-exchange value to a new level. Reinforcing the trend that all Greeks love Abercrombie, all black people listen to rap, and every man, woman, and child in the south loves their Ford truck.

Seriously, though, what the crap? Have we gotten that lazy, that we now reduce our entire self-image down to corporate icons? I can just see the next wave of college applications: Please, describe yourself in twenty brand-names or less.

There is also the new Lamefactor function: "Anonymously judge your Facebook friends."
And Rendezbook, self-described "Speed-dating for Facebook." A simulation of simulated relationships! Brilliant! This even saves you the awkwardness of having to tell someone how you feel, because if both people are interested in the same option (out of Friendship, Relationship, or Random Fling) they are emailed confirming the "feeling".
Not to mention the Compass, which uses ten questions to tell you where you are in the detailed political spectrum of Liberal, Moderate, or Conservative.
And last, but not least, we arrive at the Causes feature. You can give a crap about the rest of the world without ever lifting a finger!

Some of the new features are great. I love the Extended Info section. It gives me a place to list some things I think are important about me: Favorite authors, places, philosophers, foods, artists, you name it. But then again, with the HotList, why should I even bother? Brand names can do all of the talking. I could use the Info area to discuss my politics. Or I could answer ten questions and they'd make a picture of a compass for that, too. Now I'm really desperate. I should just list my favorite friends and girls that I'm attracted to. No, wait. There are features for those. I can just vote on my friends and women, and if I'm lucky, things will work out that way.

Facebook: Eliminating the need for words and human interaction since May 2007. It can all be simulated anyway.

Rock on.